there's a camera in my mind
sure, i have a real camera, a Canon 30D with a 85mm prime lens that I use to take real digital pictures. that one, i had to buy. that one, people can see.
but i have another camera + it's in my mind
i take pictures with it all the time.
of inspiring things
of the strange and beautiful
of joy and suffering
+ nobody knows it. but i also take pictures of girls
girls that i don't know
girls that dress provocatively. come get me attire
the girls i used to chase, in my past life
but now, i can't chase them. but i take pictures of them. + nobody knows.
the camera is always on. it controls my life.
when a pretty girl enters the room, the camera goes haywire
at the mall, at the airport, on the street
the camera is my god.
sometimes, i want to destroy this camera
i get angry that i use it both to help and to hurt people
+ i don't want to take pictures at all
i don't want this desire, these emotions
i want to turn this camera off
forever
but in photography, they say that a photograph tells more about the
the photographer, than about the subject. because the photographer decides what is seen. the angle, the lighting, what body parts are focused on. the photograph is a reflection of how the photographer views reality.
there have been days where i wanted to destroy this camera
but maybe it just needs
a new Owner
