the neighbors have already invited me to a wedding. this neighborhood is one big family, and one of the boys is getting married. we drive 20 minutes on dusty country roads + come up to what looks like: a giant Korean pojangmacha (outdoor restaurant) with tacky green-blue netting + wooden posts. a sound system + pails of ice + bottles of beer on rickety fold-up metal tables
the groom's family marches up to the bride's house to much hooping + hollering + drumming + dancing. toasting of Johnny Walker Red + more hollering. the couple, both dressed in traditional garb, duck into a bedroom to do the basi ceremony
an older male relative chants in an ancient tongue. relatives tie strings + money on their wrists, + chuck handfuls of raw rice (rice + eggs are symbols of fertility). little kids peering in the windows to catch a glimpse. old ladies eat chicken + beer in the corner
+ it's all over in 20 minutes, the ceremony anyway. the reception lasts all day. at least 300 guests and only 2 tables but somehow everyone gets fed in orderly fashion. rice noodles with fish sauce, a spicy raw beef salad, and a water buffalo stew
felt like 2 families were getting married: mingling, eating, dancing (traditional, none of that freaky American stuff). a day at the beach kinda. the bride + groom didn't seem stressed at all. no schedule, no fancy programs, no bridal registry, no "gift-drop-off" station. my friend + i brought a bag of apples, but nowhere to put em, nobody to accept em. as if they were saying: just come + eat + enjoy this moment with us!
made me wonder about the symbolism of our Western weddings. a schedule for everything + a chapel to decorate + gifts to compile. + who made up the garter/bouquet toss thing anyway?
+ does it reflect the principles of the 1st (jewish?) wedding? should it?. the cultural + spiritual always tangled together like so much string. i wonder if it will ever get untangled here. + if so, will it look like a faded carbon copy of the West, a lifeless mime? or will it end up a more knotted-up, confused mess than before?
or perhaps it will be re-born into something new, beautiful, familiar, but unique. the kind that is made anew when love + truth finally kiss
