There's a monster in my classroom. He showed up one day about a month ago.
i haven't seen him in a few years. He doesn't want to leave. He tells me i'm no good. He tells me to drown myself in my work.
He's shown up before, to tell me i'm no good. To make me believe i need to kill myself to be better, faster, smarter. To make me obsess about myself, so i lose my focus on others.
it used to be getting good grades, or studying. or drinking, or partying. or making lots of money. then it changed to being a nice guy, a good shepherd, a decent teacher.
the monster tells me: you need to be good at something. + people need to notice you for it.
it's not enough for me, to just be
my identity is based on how good i am @ something. if i'm not good at something, that must mean that i'm not good for anything.
i can't just be
i need to do
This is what the monster tells me + i believe what he says
There's a monster in my classroom
+ he won't even let me type on this blog
i'm only typing this now because he left the room for a few minutes
there's a monster in my classroom
+ i don't want him to leave
